Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
My breasts were aching with rage.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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