I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
