Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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