So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
