Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
