I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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