Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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