She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
