i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
