i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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