I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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