All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
