Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize