As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
