Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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