Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
