What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
