I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
