just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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