well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
