New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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