roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
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How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
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She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
we should paint friendship bongs
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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