I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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