Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
he fucked my hip out of place.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
