I feel like abortions should bother me more
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize