A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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