Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
