We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
