My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
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