just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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