he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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