my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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