Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
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There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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