I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
