Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
i now understand why vodka
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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