I like my sex mixed with concussions.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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