How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
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You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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