The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
