FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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