Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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