I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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