office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
