He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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