Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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