I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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