Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
