How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
