It was confusing and full of hummus
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
