either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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