Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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