We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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