I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
My pussy is not your playground.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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