is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Randomize
