Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
