how can u be prego again
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
