He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
this hospital has no fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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