Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
