my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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