This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
